Raw and exhausted

E, 21 months, nursed a lot last night. Way more than the a average newborn. I wasn't tracking, but it was something like 8pm, 10p, 2a, 3a, 4a, 5a, and then she wanted more when she woke up. I told her there was no more. Which, was more of a figurative statement than literal.

It has been the easiest for us to co sleep and nurse her at night up until this point. But we've decided that is no longer the case. 

My life, outside of these beautiful mom moments, is a constant state of exhaustion. I don't have the energy to do the things I want to do. Or even some things I need to do. I have been blessed with the hardest working husband both in and outside of the home, which is why I've lasted this long. 

It is not going to be easy, or quick, but it is time. And I will nurse her as much as she wants when the sun is up.